Sensory Clothing Hero

Why You Need The Skin of a Rhino to Parent a Child on Spectrum

Our brief guide to parent a child on spectrum.

14th March 2020

In this particular time of worry and anxiety, I thought we all could probably do with a little fun. I know a lot of these groups are set up for support and they are fantastic, but often leave you feeling useless that you cannot do more to support the parent.

So, I thought today we would celebrate our children for being honest, not able to tell lies and most of all their non judgement of others (which is hard for me to do, I am ashamed to say)

For those of you who do not know me, my name is Meta Auden and I started a business making clothing for children on spectrum. I have a 19 year old daughter who is on the spectrum. I started by doing a blog from start, titled “Dairy of a mum/carer/would be Entrepreneur aged 57 and three quarters. I ashamed to say they have become quite sporadic over last 12 months. If interested they are all on our website.

So now I want to share why you need a thick skin. My daughter is adopted and we initially fostered her from 2 years.

She had a diagnosis then of ADHD and a learning difficulty, but we couldn’t let her go. Now, when we adopted her, she was five and would not have understood, the only thing she would have taken from it, would be that I wasn’t her mum, but we said we would tell her when we thought she could understand or asked, whichever came first. It did come, one night as John dropped me off to meet my sister and niece for dinner in the city centre. Kirsty was in car seat in back and as my poor husband was driving home, a little voice from the back of the car said “I don’t think you are my real daddy” to which John replied ” what makes you say that, and her reply was “I don’t think that is my real mummy” and when John asked why she thought that, he was told that “if I was her real mummy I would be beautiful and slim like her”.

When you have to step to parent a child on spectrum

This is only one of the incidents when she has made us laugh. I had started, yet another diet and told Kirsty I would be slim for Christmas. We were at a party and there was a lady there who was also like myself, overweight, Kirsty had never met her, but thought she should pass on her wisdom so walked up to said lady and told her, if she tried, she could be slim for Christmas.

Now at 19 she doesn’t speak to anyone that she does not know and even then it is sometimes a stretch. Still need a thick skin and don’t ever ask her “Does my bum look big in this”?

You can read more about our Spectra Sensory journey here or over on the Belfast Telegraph newspaper online

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